When I was young I never understood the significance of having a rolemodel. Nor was a desirable one accessible to me. But long after all those misguided teenage years, I began to realise, having a rolemodel is a beneficial thing. And I don’t mean someone I would worship and kiss the ground upon which they walked. But rather someone who has certain desirable attributes or characteristics that I would like to adopt into my own personality, someone I admired for that facet of their nature. Just knowing, being aware, that facet exists, means it’s achievable, hence realistic.
I use to believe having a rolemodel meant placing limitations on myself and it seemed like a stupid concept, striving for the glorious day when I could finally achieve what <enter name of rolemodel here> had achieved. But I know better now. A rolemodel is just a bar you set. It’s goal-setting for your personality, or for your career, or whatever it may be. Indeed glorifying a single man/woman is far from appealing to me, after all we as individuals are just a single human being, no different from each other at the basic level, what defines us, and makes us unique, us is what we experience.
Having said that, what I do find depressing though, is that it exists in this world where people aren’t fortunate enough to make their own rolemodel choices. They either don’t spend the time to contemplate themselves, or they’re just too young or immature in mind to fathom what is inevitably shaping their future selves. The solution would be presenting and defining good rolemodels those people.
The Importance of the Anti-Rolemodel
I feel that seeking a role model is often too much of an optimistic search, searching for what you desire in yourself. What about what you do not want as a part of yourself? Having grown up with a few anti-rolemodels, I would not change any of my life experiences, as it has shaped me into the person that I am today. Of course at the time you don’t realise it, but in retrospect, it’s irreplaceable wisdom.
It’s equally important to have that balance of insight into both good and bad rolemodels, to understand and grasp what is morally right and wrong. Not enough exposure to one side and you’ll be unconsciously biased to the other. That’s obvious in today’s world, the majority of people tend to the “good” side, and it’s all due to the exposure the “good” side gets – which is far from a bad thing, but when you fear the “bad” side as that same majority of people do, you’re simply acknowledging that you have limited knowledge of that side.
To achieve the balance of good and bad, and to truly appreciate what is defined as a good characteristic in a person, you would have to be aware what’s on the opposite end of the spectrum – the characteristics that occur there, and their causes.
Being Realistic (and Acknowledging Character Flaws)
We are all flawed. There is no two ways about it. No one is perfect. Perhaps in an instance of time, one’s particular actions can be executed perfectly in a given situation, but in the long-term we are unable to sustain that perfectionism, and thankfully so, it’s what reminds us of the fact that we’re are human.
When it comes to identifying with role models, especially when it comes to children’s role models, we should be enlightened to the fact that even those that we look up to are not perfect. They should admire, and aspire for, the characteristics or experiences that a certain seemingly extraordinary person has achieved, rather than the person as a “whole”. Simply allowing a child to acknowledge the fact that their role model is imperfect, in a way protects them from any future situations where their role model acts inappropriately through their eyes, although ignorance (along with idealism) can be bliss, realism is a much better life lesson.
Eclectic Composition
The idea of a single role model is wrong. The idea of multiple role models is half-right. In my strong opinion, the best solution is for everyone to have an archetypical role model that consists of the personality characteristics and experiences of a human you are attracted to, in a way that appeals to your own personality and nature. This archetypical role model would be unique to every person in the world, it should be shaped by your own individual experiences, and developed over time. Incorporate and adopt new goals, do not fear change, embrace it. If self-development means something to you at all, then what way to better yourself than an archetypical role model? There is no glass ceiling, it’s a continuously evolving goal. Maybe your goals haven’t been achieved by anyone else in this world yet, and long as it is realistic, and you’re aware of the steps to get there, then it is achievable.
Conclusion
I don’t intend for this to sound like some self-help article, but in my opinion the idea of the archetypical role model is the best role model any one could have. It’s a finish line to cross and then extend, a glass ceiling to break through, the constantly “moving” goal may deter some, but ultimately if you consciously recognise the improvements in yourself then you would realise you’re on the right track.